There is an old saying that it is “Better to give than to receive”, which is true in many ways as it is better to be a generous person rather than one of life’s takers. However, it is all about balance and sometimes it can be just as important to know how to gracefully receive from others as well as how to give to them.
Many of my clients have given everything all their lives. They have had children, demanding partners and families where they have had to be responsible from an early age. For most of their lives they have been the givers who see to everyone else’s needs and always put their own needs and wants last. Most mothers are like this, and it can be very necessary – especially if you are a single parent for example who has to provide all the love plus all the money, sometimes with little or no support. But it can be a negative thing if this pattern of always giving and never receiving back becomes a way of life.
Giving can bring an enormous amount of pleasure and good feelings. It is wonderful to make someone you care about or feel compassion for, happy. But just think, if you never let anyone give to you, you never allow them the chance to feel good about giving you a treat. Although it may feel like you are being generous by always being the one to give, it can sometimes be a form of selfishness to always make the ones you love feel grateful instead of giving them a chance to pay back all the care you have given them before.
Some ladies find it very difficult to accept compliments. If they are told they look nice they will respond with “I look terrible” if someone compliments them on their home or cooking, they will automatically say it is rubbish or they nearly burnt it. How much nicer for everyone if they just said a simple ‘Thank you’?
Sometimes it can be very uncomfortable to be given nice things or be on the receiving end of praise and compliments. This can be because the person’s self-worth is low and it feels very confronting to have that low self-worth challenged by gratitude and compliments. But if you can let the good things in and allow others to give and say ‘thank you’ when nice things happen instead of putting yourself down; you will find that your self-worth and confidence improves as you get healthy and positive reflections from those around you.